Of Slugs And Idiots [Closed, Slug Post]

[passthesake]

[A slug, small and colored a curious black, appears in a puff of smoke on the Godaime's desk. It vomits - yes, vomits - up a scroll covered in sticky slug stuff. Underneath that it's sealed with wax, however, and the message inside is just fine.

There's no heading before it jumps straight into the letter, and the entire thing is written in a precise, surprisingly flowing style of handwriting.]

Think I found wart-nose. If it's him, I'm gonna haul him back to Konoha so you and Minato can cuss the little shit out. Got anything to say before I castrate him and all he can think of is his not-going-to-happen-anyway potential children?

(Don't bother feeding or thanking Katya. She's already gotten into your inkwell, and she doesn't understand anything besides basic directions. Just write back and give her the scroll. Might wanna coat it in wax or something.)

[Sure enough, the slug has gotten itself into Obito's inkwell and settled herself into it. By the time he either coaxes her out, or gives her the scroll so she can puff back to Tsunade, she's already soaked up all the ink.]

Comments

[thebestuchiha]

Orange? [He shoves a bottle of cheap ink at the slug he'd been trying to find someone to pawn off on before she could get into more of his good stuff.] ... I'll just not ask. [Shaking his head, he quickly set about writing a reply.]

Tsunade-hime...

Sasuke isn't the one around here that does orange so I have to admit that was a worrying declaration all around okay? Okay.

...

So what did Jiraiya do to piss you off anyway?

Obito

[Satisfied, he handed it over, already realizing he desperately needed to get more slug eatable ink, he did the same as with the last letter and sent it off.]

[passthesake]

[The slug settles into the bottle, managing to look smug despite having no facial features and only a limited amount of body with which to have body language. When he hands her the letter, she eats it, and disappears.

This time, Tsunade's letter doesn't appear until the next day. The same ink-eating slug appears with his letter, managing to look at Obito expectantly.]

He knows how I am. When he can knock me out, I'll stop running him so hard. Told Shizune the same thing. Hah. Knowing them, one day they'll team up on me.

What hasn't Jiraiya done to piss me off? Went gallavanting about without a damn word, doesn't have the decency to keep up with his apprentice. Not to mention his stupid face.

...I don't think this is him. Just saw this guy disappear into one of those hotels with another guy.

[thebestuchiha]

[A bottle of ink was set before the slug, then he got to his reply. It wasn't immediate though, as he had to finish his current correspondence first. Thus, over an hour later, he finally sent back his answer.]

That seems like a strong indicator that it wouldn't be him.

are you sure he'd never take up with a guy though? Even with his reputation I wouldn't guarantee it.