sunshine_messages | A series of letters to Obito

Dear Obito-sama,

I apologize for the inconvenience, but due to various factors it became necessary for the scroll I had previously been using to contact you to be incinerated. I underwent a great shock recently, and have gone on a journey of self-discovery and reflection. It sounds trite, I know, but I have a great deal of contemplation I must do.

I hope that you will forgive the imposition, but I have elected to use yours a sounding-board, of sorts. Or, perhaps I simply feel better, having my thoughts open to the scrutiny of an unbiased third-party. Truthfully... I do not know. There is much I am not certain of, right now, but I hope the letters I send henceforth will not be an imposition.

If they are, then you need not spare my feelings; tear them up, burn them, their fate is your choice, as ever.

Wishing you the best,

Kuzuryu Ashiko

Dear Obito-sama,

I wonder, how much does your duty define you? For me, it is a much a part of me as my limbs, my lungs, my very blood. It is coiled tight inside me, and now... now it is choking my very heart. My duty drives me to two ends, equally.

But in this matter, equality is impossible.

I fear I may be torn in two by the choice I must make, but being torn would automatically count as a failure. A Kuzuryu does not fail, I was taught. A Kuzuryu perseveres and succeeds, for the sake of their master. My master...

I've rambled, and I'll need to leave soon if I want to catch a ride to the next town.

Wishing you well,

Kuzuryu Ashiko

Dear Obito-sama,

I apologize. My previous letter was needlessly personal. I am shamed to admit that I was three sheets to the wind when I wrote it. I shall endeavor to avoid showing you such a side of myself a third time.

Repentantly yours,

Kuzuryu Ashiko

Dear Obito-sama,

Though I privately pledged to avoid talking about it, my shameful missive from a few weeks ago has roused memories that and thoughts that will not be silenced. I can only pray trapping them on paper and offering them an audience (if you are indeed still humoring this whim of mine) puts some of them to rest again.

Being a doll and being a rabbit... is there a difference? Is one better than the other?

Do I have a right to have such a preference?

A Kuzuryu does not choose their master. I, specifically, was born for the sake of serving one particular person. But when that person was, for all intents and purposes, lost to me...

Danna-sama picked me up, and gave me a reason to live. A master to live for. A Kuzuryu cannot be anything other than a Kuzuryu. I... do not wish to be anything less than a Kuzuryu. But Danna-sama is not the man I was born for.

Sometimes I miss the days when my main duty was simply eating carrots that the young master didn't wish to.

Sincerely,

Kuzuryu Ashiko

Edited 2015-05-21 19:54 (UTC)

Dear Obito-sama,

I spent the day at a luxurious little onsen. It reminded me of—

I almost wrote 'home', then. Isn't it strange? That place was destroyed when I was a toddler. I've spent more time with Danna-sama than in that place. I thought he was home.

I wonder if I am fickle or nostalgic.

Sincerely,

Kuzuryu Ashiko

Dear Obito-sama,

I wonder, what is your clan like? (I can feel comfortable asking this because you have no way to respond to me.) My clan... or, i should say, the ghost of my clan, has always been with me. Grandfather told me stories when I was little, of our clan and its masters, of what would one day be expected of me.

For myself, all I remember of my clan is my mother, smiling, and a carpet of corpses. I think my mother was pregnant. Grandfather wouldn't talk about that, when I asked.

I want, so badly, to have a family again. Is that selfish, or my duty as a Kuzuryu?

Sincerely,

Kuzuryu Ashiko

Dear Obito-sama,

I've seen things, in my life, some so terrible as to make grown men scream and whimper, and I was utterly unmoved. Because it was Danna-sama's work, and none of it seemed as monstrous as some of the stories Grandfather once told me. That's what I thought, at least. But is it more than that? I have killed men. I am not a shinobi, nor a samurai. A normal civilian woman would be much more fragile, I think.

A man tried to either rob or rape me today, and I killed him. He was not the first, and likely will not be the last. I rolled his body into a ditch and left. I didn't even think twice about it.

I wonder, is there something wrong with me?

Sincerely,

Kuzuryu Ashiko

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Dear Obito-sama,

I used to despise traveling. I don't think I ever told you that. I felt as though I was being punished, every time I was sent away from Danna-sama's side. I feel as though I'm punishing myself, now. I don't know whose side I'm keeping myself from as punishment, however.

...that might be a lie. Forgive me, Obito-sama. I am traveling by boat, so my nerves are on edge.

Respectfully,

Kuzuryu Ashiko

Dear Obito-sama,

Have you ever fallen in love?

A strange and personal inquiry, I know, but I was recently asked to bless a couple at their wedding—apparently, I have gained a reputation as a wandering spirit?—and they looked so very, very happy. Almost delirious, really. I don't know if I will ever feel that way. A Kuzuryu puts their master first, above all. We have, in some cases, been used as paramours and mistresses by the masters we serve, despite martial ties. Danna-sama and my birth-master have never required anything of the sort from me.

I know I must rebuild my clan, but I don't know if that tier of happiness is available to me. I sincerely hope it is to you. I think you are a man that deserves that kind of happiness.

Even if you do drop in on naked young ladies.

Sincerely,

Kuzuryu Ashiko

Dear Obito-sama,

I may have lied, in my last letter to you. That tier of happiness... that love... I want to believe my feelings for my master count towards that, albeit in a slightly different way. When I think of his face, my heart grows light, when I think of being with him, a smile creeps across my face. I ache, in a sweet way, when I think of going back to him.

And then I think of Danna-sama, and I feel like complete trash. Like scum. Like something even lower than scum, even, for feeling this way after all that he has done for me.

Sincerely,

Kuzuryu Ashiko

Dear Obito-sama,

I think... I think I feel guilty, towards Danna-sama.

I think that might be half of my answer, maybe.

Sincerely,

Kuzuryu Ashiko

Dear Obito-sama,

I don't know if what I decide is right. I don't know if my ancestors would approve, or spit upon me for my choice. I only know how I feel, and after this little sabbatical, I think that may be the most important thing.

My name is Kuzuryu Ashiko. I was born in the Land of Ice, to a family I was proud of. I was conceived for one person, who I lost for years. And he came back. Danna-sama... Orochimaru-sama took me in, and I served him faithfully for years. I had a home with him, and it felt like all I could ever want.

But it isn't. I want—

I want to go home, Obito-sama. And I finally understand just where that is.

Thank you,

Kuzuryu Ashiko

Bito-sama,

When I was ~~yunger yooun~~ little, things made sense. I had Yama-sama. I would've died for him. Most of my family did.

For years, I wished I had too. Sometimes, even with Danna-sama I thought about doing it. Ending it. But I had to revive the clan, had to take care of Danna-sama, had to run errands and clean and cook...

I wonder if you'll have somebody kill me. I hope not.

I don't wanna die anymore. My Yama-sama is alive.

(unsigned)

Edited 2015-05-21 20:52 (UTC)

Obito-sama,

I am uncertain as to how many, if any, of my missives you read. I hope you will forgive the imposition. My resolve has firmed up, I am happy to report. So, instead of blathering on about sentimental topics of no value to you, I have a simple question.

How much is information about Orochimaru and the village he is currently connected to worth to you?

Awaiting your reply,

Kuzuryu Ashiko

A series of letters to Obito

#1, dated February 16

#2, dated February 20

#4, dated February 27

#5, dated March 3

#8, dated March 29

#6, dated March 5

#9, dated April 4

#7, dated March 12, waterlogged and blurry

#10, dated April 12

#11, dated April 20

#12, dated May 1

#13, dated May 2

#14, May 14

#3, dated February 22, postmarked to Kumo, then Kiri, then Kusa, then finally Konoha

#15, dated May 21, through a new scroll

May 22nd, morning

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